food for thought. 1:46 am
Honestly speaking (or rather, writing), I should be doing more important stuff right niow, rather than posting a new blog.
But I can’t help it.
I have poor self-control.
I especially noticed my low level of self-control when I first stepped in to college. I was weak. How sad (aaaw, tears tears).
But in my Psychology class, I learned that self-control is like a miscle: it’s weak after exertion, it needs time to recuperate, and it’s strengthened by exercise.
Time to exercise. 
wacky experiences 4:16 am
Last week, I was really sad because I lost something that I really need.
It was not much; actually it might be assessed as ‘worthless’ by others because it’s relatively cheap. But in times of need, it was my buddy.
It helped me a lot and it’s actually one of the reasons why I’m still alive in this jungle-like University.
I met my NASC4 groupmates last week at the University Library (at the Computer Services Section – airconditioned eh) becasue we had to discuss some things for our presentation. We talked and talked and talked about our presentation, and after more or less 30 minutes, I left (about 12 nn).
It was during the NASC 4 class (2:30-4:00 pm) that I realized that I lost it. I was very nervous for our presentation because we weren’t prepared at all. I was fretting… I prepared myself… and then… POOF.
“Huy, nakita niyo ba yung USB ko?!”
My Universal Serial Bus (USB) can only store 1 gig of information (but, then again, I haven’t even used up all the storage space in that USB because I also delete some of the files.
But I really needed that.
That night, I had to watch “Ang daan Patungong Kalimugton.” I was still hoping that it got lost in my ginormous bag… But when I got home, I dumped all of my stuff on my bed, I even shook the bag while it was upside-down so that all the contents and trash inside my bag would fall.
No USB.
I didn’t tell my Nanay and Tatay what happened, because I’m afraid that they’ll get angry (because this was the second USB that I lost). I told them last Friday. They merely laughed at me and said… “Ayan kasi, bawal ang pork. Hipon. Beans. ”
I asked for another one, obviously, because I really need a USb for my schoolwork. I lost all the files that I downloaded from the Yahoo! groups in all of my classes, not to mention, all the blogs that I typed and all the photos that I was about to upload. Huhuhuhu. So sad.
But last night, after I watched “Deviant Loves,” I was very happy because… I have a new USB!!!
Okay. Time for me to use this new USB. I have to make my NASC4 assignment now (NASC4 na naman!).
Ciao.
food for thought. 2:41 am
Brown.
Brown is the color of the earth in which the plants grow, flowers bloom and creepy-crawlies live. It’s almost synonymous to life.
But for me, brown symbolizes drought. Dryness. And, yes. Death.
I’m wearing brown again. And it’s just one day before Valentines’ Day.
This morning, I just found out what my friends did last night. I did not join them at the Fair last night because I had assignments to do, and besides, I wanted to go to the Open House tonight. I had to choose between Thursday and Friday.
I should have chosen Thursday.
Last night, I was full of regrets. I didn’t know why. No, I know why. I should’ve went out with my friends last night because I knew he was there. And he has a new “friend” in tow.
I should’ve went there. I should’ve risked it.
So that I won’t experience this.
Crap. Crap is brown.
Bitter.
Here I am again, spending my freetime in front of a PC, waiting for him to go online (yeah, right, fat chance). But he has a class right now.
Last Sunday, he told me that he wanted to talk to me. He wanted to talk with me. He wanted to say things to me.
I saw him after our class last Tuesday. He saw me, too.
He didnt approah me before our class last Wednesday.
He sat next to me during our class yesterday.
He had dinner with my friends last night. And he ‘introduced’ his new ‘friend to them.
I don’t want to see him today.
Battle
I was on my way to my PE class this morning when I noticed that there were vendors along the sidewalk near the UP gate. Roses, balloons and stuffed tooys were scattered there. I don’t know how Valentines’ day is like in Elbi; now I do. It’s just like any other Valentines’ day in any other part of the world. Commercialized.
I’m dying to reload my phone.
But I’ll be firm, and I won’t reload.
I’m afraid that, if I do reload, I might text him. I don’t want to text him. I’m dying to text him. How is this possible at the same time?
This is stupid. I’m fighting a losing battle against myself.
But I won’t make contact. I promise.
So help me, God.
B
food for thought. 2:26 am
Today I am witnessing one of the hottest days in UPLB (and it’s not even summer yet).
Let’s just say that I consumed a lot of time just walking around campus, without an umbrella in tow.
Yes, it is scorching outside. But what can I do?
Well, I did the most sensible thing that one should do in a hot, semi-summer day.
I looked for some shade.
And I found one in Raymundo gate. It’s air-conditioned too (what a perk!)
But then, this oasis isn’t real. Because it’s one of the reasons behind the uncomfortable heat outside.
Just a thought.
